It was the Saturday before Johnathan's funeral, and I needed a hair cut. I got up early, to go to Great Clips, so when we were done we can run errands for the funeral. There was about a 20 minute wait, which was no big deal especially on a weekend.
Finally, my name was called and the stylist and I went to the next open chair. The stylist that called my name, was barely out of high school, and I'm 98% sure he was hungover. As most of stylist do, they make small talk. It was innocent enough, we talked about the winter, and the holiday season, and what we were doing this weekend. Inside I am falling apart, as I am there to get my hair cut for my child's funeral. But I remember saying to myself this is easy enough, I can make it through this hair cut.
Then the dreaded question came. "Do you have any kids?" My first thought was to get up out of the chair and walk out. I don't care how my head looks, I don't need this line of questioning. How dare this 18 year old drunk kid ask me if I had any children. This is not an appropriate question to be asking anyone.
My mind is racing through many thoughts, and I needed more time to think about this question. I asked him to repeat the question in hopes he asked a different question or if he did really ask that question I can come up with an answer in the the next few seconds.
I did not prepare myself to answer this question. How are you supposed to prepare? Your child just died a few days ago, you are there to get a hair cut for the funeral. I panicked and said "no." A major decision I now regret. I do have a son, I do love him with my whole heart, and I do hope he forgives me for the moment of panic I had.
Today is day 44
6 Weeks 1 Day
He does💙
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