There is a song in the book that goes "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." I found that fitting for Johnathan. In the coming days after the his death, my sister made us a beautiful paddle with his feet and the song on it. It sits in our living room next to our fireplace.
A few weeks ago, a buddy from high school asked me if I was going to get a tattoo with Johnathan's name on it. I have never thought about it, and I didn't know if I wanted to have a name on my body. I could not shake the thought, andI knew it was good way to honor my son. I have never wanted a name on my body but I thought a quote is a great idea. I do have 2 other tattoos, and new I wanted a third, but since my second one didn't turn out the way I wanted to do it, I was nervous.
When it comes to tattoos, there are 2 rules that I should follow, first, don't get names, and second is to wait a year and if you still wanted it after a year, than you should get it. When we first lost Johnathan, I remember reading somewhere that you need to wait at least a year before making any life changing decisions, like a new job, moving, tattoos etc. I broke not only one of my rules but a grieving rule as well. But I knew what I wanted, and I didn't want to wait a year for it.
One of my co-workers husband works/owns his own shop somewhere around Milwaukee, I just didn't know where. He is a well known (across the United States) tattoo artist. Jim Francis was on season 4 of Ink Master. I was asking my co-workers some questions about him, and if he had any opening in the next year, thinking he was booked for a long time as he is a well known artist. (for the record I found out that he was booked for the next month or so). Ten minutes later I get an email from her and said he can fit you in on Saturday.
This was only Wednesday I had 3 days to figure out where I wanted my tattoo. I knew the quote, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. " But I didn't know where. I discussed a few different areas where I wanted this tattoo with Amanda and my friend Tyler, I felt the most comfortable with the front of my right shoulder.
I ended it there as I wasn't sure if I wanted the whole quote or not, and I can decide if I want "As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be" at a later date. I am extremely happy with my new tattoo, and the way I decided to honor my son.
Back to the I'll love you forever book, my wife and I have been seeing a councilor/therapist/life coach and she did some research on this book, as she has never heard the book before. She came across this website where the author describes how he came up with the idea of the book. He writes,
"I made that up after my wife and I had two babies born dead. The song was my song to my dead babies. For a long time I had it in my head and I couldn’t even sing it because every time I tried to sing it I cried. It was very strange having a song in my head that I couldn’t sing.
For a long time it was just a song, but one day, while telling stories at a big theater at the University of Guelph, it occurred to me that I might be able to make a story around the song.
Out popped Love You Forever pretty much the way it is in the book. "
I was extremely surprised the author wrote the book about his children that has passed. It makes the quote that I got that much more important to me, as it came from the same place, pain, fear, love and passion I have for my son.
Here is the website that she found it from:
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