Today, I was re-reading my post from yesterday, and I realized that I didn't put how many days it has been since Johnathan was born! What does this mean? I don't want to forget the days. I hurried and recounted the days on my calendar. 41 days. Have I forgotten, am I loosing him?
I somehow feel like I am loosing him, loosing the memory, because I didn't remember the days since that day? I know this is childish, and irrational but, how could I do this, how could I have lost count of the days? Does this mean that I need to start to count weeks? I know that one, tomorrow 6 weeks. 6 weeks, that should have been the best sleepless nights of my life. Not 6 weeks of hardship, horror and complete sadness.
41 days. 6 weeks tomorrow.
In the early days, this is very common...you count the days, "forget" one day and beat yourself up over it. As time continues, into the years, you will not continue to count the days, and you will learn to be gentle with yourself. You will never forget your children, but in the early days, that is one of your biggest fears.
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